Let me address the OCD. OCD is a very serious disorder and takes YEARS of effort in therapy AND medication (many times with changes until the best effect can be gained with the least side effects). Your garden variety therapist isn't equipped to deal with OCD. Many who shouldn't try anyway. You need someone who specializes in the disorder. I can't recall where you live but if there are any major universities or medical schools in your area I would start there.
Additionally Cobra, I think we all empathize with how much you and she are hurting. I understand that you think that few people here understand. I was married with someone with SEVERE pathology for 10 years. I still have him in my life because he and I must co-parent our children for the rest of our lives. I understand. Many of the R's on this board are more like yours than you might think. Please try to listen more and "Yes, but" less.
