I meant to answer your questions, but that last post got too long… No, I did not praise her this time for having sex. It was a quickie. But other times I have thanked her. Of course there is a correlation between being nice and having that niceness come back to me. I know this fully well. She is the one who has had trouble understanding this. I am trying to magnify that dynamic. She seems to be getting the idea now.
The real stumbling block that the C and I are seeing is that understanding this dynamic means W has to come to terms with the fact that she actually WANTS the love and caring she rants and rails about. In other words, when the C says W walks right up to the line then backs off, she means that W can exchange niceness for niceness, but moving further to admit that she wants me (or any other male) and a love relationship is where things get scary, uncomfortable, and a little too much for her to handle. So she backs off. In some respects, I see this a an exercise in acclimation.
