The idea has crossed my mind but I think there is little evidence to support a restraining order since I did not see what happened. I also do not think D13 will or should testify that W threatened her. Remember that W did say the context that D13 told the story was not accurate, though I believe W is at fault for saying anything of this nature that could be taken out of context.
So far there has been no child endangerment. A restraining order will be the same as filing for D, which is what I have been tying to avoid. If I ever decide there is no hope, then D will be the obvious choice. If there is ever child endangerment, it will be a felony and W will go to jail. Remember she was arrested at the first of this year. One of the charges was child endangerment, though I knew there was no intention on the part of W. Yet D13 had a scratch. Although I petitioned to drop charges, they are still on W’s record. A second charge will not be seen favorably by the court. I convicted, she would automatically lose her teaching job.
My thought is to let thinks cool for a day or so, then talk to W to find out her full story. If she is calm, we should be able to make progress on this. Then we can talk to D13 to come to an understanding of what she, W and I are frustrated about.
I see this as just another example of our dysfunctional parenting as children of traumatized families. Most, if not all, of the arguments between W and I, and now with the kids, is an attempt to throw off stress and anxiety from some particular issues, and to avoid responsibility or blame in relation to that. I think Corri and Lil hit it on the head that respect for others, for rules, laws and standards of conduct is lacking. When W gets mad, anything goes because she is fighting for survival, not for some mere POV. This imbalance is correctable, IMO. Sure there are other issues like her ADD and OCD, but I still believe ALL those issues are correctable.
I also believe that you CANNOT love your way to impose discipline. I think it requires understanding and compassion but sometimes power and consequence.
