Quote: hey its's Cassie Karen's betfriend i just thought i would tell you all that karen is right about men they do nothing but lie and cheat on you lets you Kevin Berdanier he is the man who said i make him happy and no one would he said he want to be with me for the rest of his life i was just some ass he got thats how i look at it no one but him is who makes me happy he will awlays be the man that i want to be with for ever he just want to be with Emily Berdanier his wife who could give to a [censored] if he is happy or not !!! the way i look at life is that you should be happy no matter what if you are not happy then dont be with that person yeah 4 years ago you married her but 9 months ago you told her you didnt want to be with her you told be that you loved me before i even told you how i felt rember that night Kevin not like you are going to read this i think its funny how it said you ware online last night when you ware with me the hole night holding me telling me how much you love me and want to be with me but then to day you bring me home and act like you never cared about me when i know that is a lie and if you didnt care about me you wouldnt have CRY as much as you did i know you love me and i know that me being here typing this is not what you want i should be with you holding your heart and standing by you the hole way thought every thing that you need to do in life Kevin dont ever for get me i know you will im sure you dont even rember who your Butterfly is do you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I ALWAYS WILL WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME!!!
Emily, I don't get involved in your threads, buy I do follow them. Girl, sitting on your rear isn't going to make anything better, including yourself. You MUST get up and GAL immediately! Stop trying to find bandaids to your stitch. Giving your kids up, obsessing about your H, stuff like that will only put one foot in the grave. AmyC asked you what cities were close to you earlier in the thread. Why do you think she asked you that? She is obviously trying to help you one way or the other. I also heard you mention that no one would help you, well, there are lots of people here that are trying, you must first be willing to accept help Emily. Sitting on your Arse and feeling sorry for youself will not bring your H back to you I can promise you that! Do something, anything to work yourself out of this girl!! God bless!!!
What the hell could I possibly do RIGHT now to make this any better?
NOTHING . . . .
There is nothing that I can do right now.
I feel like I already have one foot in the grave.
I don't know what you all want me to do.
I just don't get it.
There is nothing that I can do to make any of this any better.
First of all I don't know how to GAL when I am stuck at home with the girls all the time.
Yeah yeah I am "working" on getting my license. . . it's just more money than I have anyway.
It's been to cold and rainy lately for me to take them out in the stroller . . and I feel like a jackass when I do anyway. The only thing that drives me out with them is a run to the store.
I don't have anyway to GAL.
I don't have anyway to get out of this pit.
I am miserable.
Giving up the girls would put an end to this whole [censored] up sitch.
Without them I wouldn't have any ties to him.
He and his whore could have a "ready made family".
She can stay at home with the kids just like he expects me to . . .
I AM SO FED UP WITH EVERYTHING.
I don't know what you all want me to do.
Oh Emily,
I know you are hurting but you have got to take your eyes off of you and look at your children.
Do you have more hatred for this stupid tramp then love for your children?
If you love Kevin and he loves you, as YOU posted and HE made the decision to come back in 2 weeks, then why are you so worried about this OW?
IF Kevin decides not to come back, you still have to be there for the girls.
Most of us here have been in your place, we have kids, we have dealt with a cheating spouse, financial issues, the list goes on.
It takes time to get over things and rebuilding a marriage does take years.
BUT the changes begin with you and the choices you make.
First of all have you eaten?
Secondly, can you get someone to come and help you?
Do you want to talk with someone?
I really do have friends not too far from you if you want to talk to them.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Quote: First of all have you eaten? Yes Secondly, can you get someone to come and help you? No Do you want to talk with someone? Not really / I'd like Kevin to call so we could get this all straightened out. I really do have friends not too far from you if you want to talk to them.
Felina is sleeping on the couch .. . . poor tired little girl.
I understand that if he didn't want them I would stuck. But he already said he was taking them. I'm losing them either way. Unless he decides he loves me and it's really different this time. Which doesn't look like it is going to happen.
Emily, please, just forget the myspace thing. It just doesn't matter. I could go on there and write anything I want, heck, I could be having an affair with you! It is just words, and pretty poorly written ones at that. THEY DO NOT EXIST!
What is it that you want to make better?
Right now it needs to be Emily. It does not matter what your ultimate goal is. It starts with Emily. Remember, YOU ARE SPECIAL! Don't forget that!
You need to shrink your universe. You are overwhelmed right now. Right now there's you and the girls. That's what is important.
You don't know what we want you to do?
Did you eat? Did you take a walk? Did you call the doctor's office? Did you call a friend? Did you call your mom? Do you plan to call the county? Do you plan to call a church?
Those are real things Emily. You can do them. One step at a time. You know, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step... You can't make everything "better" in 20 minutes, or a day, or a week, or a month. You can take care of yourself. There isn't a silver bullet. Come on kid, you were brave enough to come on here and pour all of this out. Be brave enough to take control of Emily. And to get the help you need to do it! It's not weakness, it is strength!
You are wrong. You said you were not good enough and never have been.
Let me tell you this:
You HAVE what it takes. THAT is why you have fought us tooth and nail for the last SEVERAL months.
YOU have CHOSEN to come back here time after time even though I, RB and a few others have ripped your head off.
YOU WANT to learn.
YOU WANT to grow.
YOU WANT to change the direction of your life.
It seems overwhelming again right now but you're a survivor.
I recognize it because I have been down further than I ever imagined, on multiple occasions (some of which you have witnessed) and I ALWAYS get back up.
Whatever it is that makes me keep going, I recognize the same thing in you.
Emily,
This is a fight for yourself now.
YOU cannot let YOURSELF down.
WE are not going to let you.
You are weary from fighting a battle that largely is not even yours.
You need to take a break.
Instead of working harder, it's time to work smarter.
We're starting tomorrow.
You're going to get some medication for the violent mood swings and hopelessness, too 'cause crazy is as crazy does and we can't all go down in flames at once, okay?
I wish I could get a goodnights sleep. I never do! I can't tell you how long it's been. FOREVER seems like.
I toss and turn and look at the clock and half the time I'll be honest I wonder why Kev didn't call before bed. . . I wonder if he was talking to her . . . I just wonder about everything. Then lastnight around 2 Felina came in and was screwing around . . . when she finally fell asleep she ended up with her feet in my face .. . then she stole my pillow . . . and of course Kiya still gets up in the night. Then Felina is rip roarin ready to go at 7 most days. The days she isn't and she actually sleeps in are usually days I can't sleep.
Who am I suppose to call tomorrow and how could they help me anyway. I have no way of getting to the doctors anyway. So even if I called . . . It just doesn't do any good. I am hopeless.
