You don't have the luxury of your pride right now. You have to fight for your health and survival. Because of your children.
Where's the fight in you?
And don't you dare say "Kevin took it from me." Kevin is not a god. YOU have control over your future right this minute. You just don't see it. You refuse to see it.
Once you have kids, your life is not just your own. I can't tell you the things I've done... that every mother has done in hard times... to put aside that pride and FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN. I stood in a welfare line for 4 hours with my 4 month old daughter. The lowest point in my life. It's not about you anymore. You're a mom. No one will look out for these kids if you don't. Their father won't even support them, how can you possibly think THAT would change if you were out of the picture?
If your doctor won't listen to you then find another one. My OB/GYN was the one who put me on depression meds when I told him that my H and I were having problems. I didn't even have to go to my family doctor. He told me it was to take the edge off and it really does work. You need to do what you can to get some kind of help.
Quote: Kevin can just come get his kids and forget I [censored] exsist.
Please don't be like this. If I have to, I will go pick Amy up and I will bring her to your house. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself!! I'm sure each of us has been there. I layed in the bed for a week after my H left. I couldn't get up and do anything. My kids ate tv dinners from the microwave. Then I realized that I needed to be strong for them too. Do you think if you tell Kevin he can have the kids that it will make him come home? I just don't understand how you can even say you want to give them up. Even through my worst part of depression I would never give my kids up.
I can't fight anymore. Not for myself or my girls and certainly not Kevin.
I cannot be good enough. Never have been never will be.
I know that right now I AM DYING FROM THE INSIDE OUT! I cannot take anymore. These girls are the only reason I am living. I just want them gone. I'm DONE.
When/if he calls I'm telling him that he damn sure had better show up on Sunday so that he can get his girls and his things . . . . the end. I am sorry. Sorry Amy . . . thank your for always trying. Sorry I can't take the heat.
I may not have tried all the way but at least I tried a quarter of the way. If not for him calling the divorce lawyer and lying and always falling back to her . . . maybe things could've worked. But fact is he won't let them work. . . no matter how hard I could push and try. My marriage is over. He's already moved on. They'll be married and they can have this family that was suppose to be mine. I won't be around so I won't care.
Kevin doesn't want the girls! He is not going to come and take them. What's he going to do, take them all over the east coast in the truck? I DON'T THINK SO!
Besides, you don't want him raising them. He is emotionally 12 right now, I don't think that's going to work. So lets's just get right over that, right now.
So, on to what you can do.
1. Tell Amy where the heck you live. It's bloody Pennsynvania, there are cities in Pennsylvania. If you want somewhere without cities, come out west!
2. Call the doctor. I agree, they will give you a referral.
3. Make sure the girls eat and drink.
4. Have you eaten today? Make sure you do.
5. If it is not raining, put the girls in a stroller, and go for a walk. Get away from the computer for a while (after you tell Amy where you live.
I'll think of some more, but that shoudl get you started. So it now, before the doctor's office closes!
Quote: If I could just get out of this situation I would fine.
In 9 days Kevin can come get the girls and it will all be over.
So, get yourself out of this situation. Giving your children up will not get you out of it.
With you thinking the way you are and acting as you are, maybe it is the best thing that your kids are not with you. I don't think they belong with Kevin either.
Why not just give them to someone who will love them unconditionally. Why ruin their lives by giving them to Kevin and letting them be thrown around from sitter to sitter? They won't have a life unless you can provide them with one. Don't give me any of that crap about not affording it. You do what you have to do. Some days I only eat dinner just to save money on groceries. I don't go out because the price of gas is outrageous. I choose to continue trying. My H said if we sold the house it would be easier on both of us. We could put money in the bank and have enough to live on for awhile. My answer is NO!!!! I won't give up my house. I will struggle to keep my kids where they want to be.
If money is so tight, how do you afford internet access? I am not saying it is a bad thing to have but if you didn't have access then you wouldn't be looking on the myspace sites. You wouldn't be able to add fuel to the fire.
Maybe I am just rambling but it is because I am angry and worried about you. You scare me with the things you say.
Quote: 1. Tell Amy where the heck you live. It's bloody Pennsynvania, there are cities in Pennsylvania. If you want somewhere without cities, come out west! I live in the middle of nowhere. All the cities (Harrisburg, Philly and Pittsburg are WAY far way.) the biggest town close to me is Wellsboro PA
2. Call the doctor. I agree, they will give you a referral.
3. Make sure the girls eat and drink. They have. Felina just got back from the park. . . with candy.
4. Have you eaten today? No Make sure you do.
5. If it is not raining, put the girls in a stroller, and go for a walk. Get away from the computer for a while (after you tell Amy where you live. I just cleaned my kitchen up a bit. I don't feel like going anywhere though. . . .
Quote: If money is so tight, how do you afford internet access? I am not saying it is a bad thing to have but if you didn't have access then you wouldn't be looking on the myspace sites. You wouldn't be able to add fuel to the fire. My parents pay it so that I can do my online schooling . . . . that and it's my only real outside link. They also help me with my school payments and my cable. OK so by help I mean they pay them for me.
