There can be no "But he"'s, "But she"'s, "But I'm not"'s... If we are to do this all over again, you have to listen, Emily. People have told you what to do over and over and over again.
There is no magic wand.
Actually... just re-read all your threads... right from the beginning. The fact that people took the time to write it all out to you over and over again means something. They care.
Take the time to re-read them. Really taking it in. I sometimes get the feeling you don't read what people post. You selectively read them and react.
So read. Then post questions.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
I WANT him to take them . . . YES . . . make no mistake about that. Even if I didn't though he could win them from me. If I fought him it would drag up an ugly family history that he's the only one I've ever told about. I see now that it was a mistake. . . . but I thuoght I could confide in him. I mean jeesh we were married and had no secrets then.
I just don't know. I hate looking at them everyday and seeing him. That's the out and out truth. I love my girls and wouldn't want them to go into foster care . . . I would never want that. BUT . . . . I don't know.
He's driven me crazy I think. I've aided him GREATLY in that way.
I don't even know when he'll call again . . . or if he'll be willing to talk to me. I just want to know what is going on.
You tell him you'll see him in hell first and if anything keeps you from fighting for the girls when you are THE ONLY PARENT THEY KNOW then you don't have the potential I thought you had, Emily.
Wow, honey all this b/c you read what she wrote on My Space... that place is .. should be taken off the web,,, my friend has a blog on there too. When she has shown it to me I have no choice but to say this cause I have never read one good thing on there when she is over here and on that site. So do not go there anymore. Deal???
I am going to re- read what you 2 talked about when you met for the conference and try to make sense of all of this. I must repeat to you,,, this will not be the first time you have to stand by your man and fight for him. If he is really trying to get back together with you and you are feeling like this, Instead of you being a safe place to land he will be feeling as though ypu are acting JUST like the Coloring Book Bitch. He needs you to be strong ....So I need you to calm down and stop letting her or Kevin decide your worth.
You need to be alot stronger if you want to keep him coming back to you. You are basically handing him to her on a platter if you get angry with him for her being a coniving B*TCH. May as well put the damn apple in his mouth yourself and hand him over.I repeat you need to be his safe place to land and you need to be calm, serene, self assured....
he needs strength . Take another deep breath. God bless...
You need to take a real dep breath and calm down and think clearly.... this hurts like hel honey but you need to get thru it and soothe yourself you need to grow more and not let every little thing " she " does affect you.
I dunno what to say anymore it makes me sad and my stomache sick literally to think that they have this much power over you... Please stop this and think clearly and re-read your threads and take notes,,, change you and your world will change Emily,, I guarantee it....
By the time I left we were OK again. Just a short freak out. He even commented on that. I also talked to him lastnight. Things are still OK. There was another small freak out between when we left down there and when we returned home (about 4 hours) In which he called my answering machine said he had called a D lawyer and was going in ASAP and doing what should have been done in December. He would always love me but he couldn't do "this" anymore. (this was about 30 minutes after we had left). Two hours after he left that message he called back and left another message. Saying: After we left he checked his VM and this D lawyer had called him back One that he had called her awhile back when he thought we'd never work out (*rolls eyes . . he's only had the new number a month) He said he called her back and told her to never mind he wasn't going to go in ("he promised") He loves me VERY much . . and he's VERY sorry for the previous CRAZY message (he was crying by now), it was just that her calling back sent him into another freak out. But he was on his way back out on the road he loved me and he'd see me in two weeks, and he would call later (which he did).
I am so confused!!!!
Is all of this based on an assumption from the stupid myspace thing?
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I do read what you all write. I guess I just don't really understand how to do it.
I just can't get it right. This all looks hopeless and it is ALL my fault. I'm bad at all of this and I AM SORRY.
I don't understand how to detach when he is telling me he needs me to REALLY be there for him because I wasn't before and that's part of why he went to OW. That seems like stupid move. I don't understand how to balance all of this crap.
Amy . . . I don't understand what you mean by, "unless I have more than that blog to back me up" What more do I need??? The truth finally came out. . . . what should I think?
I mean there were always BULLSHIT excuses when he ended up down there instead of here on his weekends off. He did stop through here that one time . . . and he spent the whole night. How did he pull that off? Did he leave her across town in the truck?
