Emily,

Whatever proves to be the hardest thing for you to do is precisely what you HAVE to do.

If it's bringing up OW, then you have to stop.

You just have to stop it.

You're giving her too much power.

SHE'S NOTHING.

Think about this: how much do you think she would love to know that she is messing with your head to the point you're about to self-destruct?