How do I show him those things without seeming pushy and without moving too fast for him.
I just don't know. I know that the biggest one is as Ali said: NOT BRINGING UP SCUMBAG OW! That's the hardest for me. . . . but I understand that me having doubts about them gives him doubts about them being over and us being back together.
HOW do I show him that it's time for US . . . I forgive the past . . . and I'm willing to move on. I just don't know how to pull it off and not seem like I am forcing something.
I've quit calling him a bunch of times a day. and I will NOT start back up again. I called him before I went to bed lastnight and said to his VM, "Remember when you went to bootcamp and I wrote you EVERYDAY . . . I just wanted to do the same thing today. Only I can't write so I just wanted you to know I love you and I was thinking of you today. Hope you are safe, I won't bug you again until I hear from you . . until then I love you. Bye." SOMETHING like that. He called me this morning . . . .
I keep screwing up and letting my suspiciousions sneak into our convos. . . so I think he tries not to talk to me too long. It breaks my heart. I just need to kick her out of my head again. It's only so hard again because I was in his truck and saw him clinging to her . . . he even had those "freak outs" because of her.
HOW DO I SHOW HIM THAT I DO LOVE HIM . . . He started almost crying when we were waiting at the bank and said, "Are you sure this is what you want?" I said of course it was. He replied, "It just seems like somewhere between December and here you gave up on me." It broke my heart and left me speechless. . . . I don't know how to PROVE to him . . . that I am still here standing waiting for him. Now I just have to figure out how to truly let go of it all . . and show him. HELP me to do that please!
