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Alimari I hope you read this because I know you went through the period where your H "kept" the OW around with like pictures etc.: HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH THAT.



Emily,,, well let me tell you it wAs hard but I posted alot and got alot of great advice from others here. I would recommend you reread thru that time of my ups and downs. I got really good advice from everyone. It helped me when I felt like giving up or blowing up.
Also this is what personally worked for me. Praying, crying by myself once in awhile to let all the bad feelings out { when the kids are in bed}}}, reminding myself I am a worthwhile beautiful woman even if he does not show me I am. Calling a close friend and just letting all my feelings out once again. When I was around my h he only saw the Happy me,, I did not cry ,, he once even said to me I think this does not even affect you.. I proceeded to have a long talk with him. i would let him have his space. The more I let him go and showed him unconditional love the more he would come closer to me. he even told me later when I did this it drew him closer to me " cause it felt like I believed in him!"
I think you need to give him alot of space and allow yourself to heL CAUSE YOU HAVE A HARD PART TO GO THRU IF HE TRULY WNATS TO RECONCILE. aND DO NOT RUSH ANYTHING, YOU WANT HIM YOU WANT HIM TO GROW. NOT FORCE HIM TOO.

JOKERMAN WOULD TELL ME NOT TO PUSH AT ALL CAUSE HE WOULD BE MORE DRAWN TO WANT TO BE A PART OF THE ow. I loved the advice he gave me and I will tell you that sometimes I thought well
me??? I do not push but upon further examination of myself I realized as humble as I am I could let go more and get thru the fear and soothe myself not expect him to fix my PAIN> There si so much to explain that this post would be super long but basically you will have good days and bad days. try not to think about her at all pretend she does not exist. if you interact with him and have any thoughts of her in your mind it will poison you , I did this a few times with my H and i never said a word about her but he read my face like a book. And I would always say something like ".....oh nothing honey I am fine,, My stomache hurts..." Do not mention her,,,, it will do you no good. I am sure there are others here who will give you good advice on how to get thru this time.... Just 3 days ago I finally got up the nerve to nicely ask him to erase her pic inside his phone and old TM and her phone number. And he grabbed his phone and did it all and said " DONE!" and smiled at me. A month ago he would have not been as calm or sweet about this subject. It will be a BATTLE honey but if this is what you really want then prepare yourself. you will need lots of strength, it tests your love for yourself to go thru this. I knew that i had to be strong to get thru this and not let my emotions rule me. Be his safe place to land and by that I do not mean be a doormat, be strong be yourself but do not cause any drama be calm. I feel as though I was rambling a bit but I hope you get some good out of waht I have sadi to you. I care alot BOUT YOU AND WISH YOU ALL THE BEST BUT REMEBER THAT IT WIL TAKE TIME. i STILL LOOK AT MY h AND WANT TO CRY CAUSE i CANNO T BELIEVE i MADE IT THRU AND HELD ON WHEN i FELT LIKE HE WAS KILLING ME WHILE ALIVE AND i HELD ON AND STAYED STRONG AND NEVER GAVE UP AND MOST OF ALL DID NOT SCREAM, SHOW ANGER OR BE MENA TO HIM. I WAS HUMBLE AND I WAS WHO GOD WOULD LIKE FOR ME TO BE. I WAS ACTING IN A WAY THAT WOULD MAKE GOD HIMSELF PROUD OF ME. And I would remind myself when I felt my temper coming ON " WILL WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO HELP ME REACH MY GOAL? IF NOT THEN DO NOT SAY IT OR DO IT.
MY BROTHER AND MY LITTLE NEPHEW JUST STOPPED OVER FOR A VISIT,, WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. XOXOXOXOXO ALI
HOPE I HELPED A LITTLE.
GOD BLESS...