Yup Amy a Strawberry Shortcake coloring book . . . and a nice big pack of Crayola's (wish I had the crayon's though ) He told me he "might color in it" . . . . he then proceeded to show me a picture in it that he had colored.
JEESH . . . .
Also . . . he got Kiya's name tattoo'd on his forearm right beside Felina's . . . so I guess that's forward progress for him . . . now he'll always have to remember BOTH of them . . .
I'm just so scared. It's teetering and I know I can't stop it . . . it's hard to keep my stupid nose of of it. But I'm trying to give it up to God. I haven't called him today . . and I don't intend to.
about things that are hers... dont' fret about that. Do what I did when I find stuff he bought for OP, I found like 2pairs of nice champaigne glasses and a special glass from their cruise... I hammered hammered hammered the little demons away!! boy it felt good, to smash those things.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Hi Emily, I was trying to post to you yesterday then my hubby got home early from work. I will post to you in a little bit or email you. In any event I hope you are having a wonderful morning. xoxoxo ALI God bless...
Quote: An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
“Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied
“The one you feed.”
Author Unknown
I LOVED THAT!
I keep reminding myself to try to feed into the good and not the bad.
Well my H called me BREIFLY this morning.
Said he'll call again later.
He got the 23/24 off . . . which I think he said was a Sunday/Monday.
Monday so that he can get a different bank account up here since he won't be going back down to the area where his old bank is
We'll see what happens.
I'll post more later right now I have to go make sure Felina isn't "killing" the kitten we are babysitting until later today!
Quote: Alimari I hope you read this because I know you went through the period where your H "kept" the OW around with like pictures etc.: HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH THAT.
Emily,,, well let me tell you it wAs hard but I posted alot and got alot of great advice from others here. I would recommend you reread thru that time of my ups and downs. I got really good advice from everyone. It helped me when I felt like giving up or blowing up. Also this is what personally worked for me. Praying, crying by myself once in awhile to let all the bad feelings out { when the kids are in bed}}}, reminding myself I am a worthwhile beautiful woman even if he does not show me I am. Calling a close friend and just letting all my feelings out once again. When I was around my h he only saw the Happy me,, I did not cry ,, he once even said to me I think this does not even affect you.. I proceeded to have a long talk with him. i would let him have his space. The more I let him go and showed him unconditional love the more he would come closer to me. he even told me later when I did this it drew him closer to me " cause it felt like I believed in him!" I think you need to give him alot of space and allow yourself to heL CAUSE YOU HAVE A HARD PART TO GO THRU IF HE TRULY WNATS TO RECONCILE. aND DO NOT RUSH ANYTHING, YOU WANT HIM YOU WANT HIM TO GROW. NOT FORCE HIM TOO.
JOKERMAN WOULD TELL ME NOT TO PUSH AT ALL CAUSE HE WOULD BE MORE DRAWN TO WANT TO BE A PART OF THE ow. I loved the advice he gave me and I will tell you that sometimes I thought well me??? I do not push but upon further examination of myself I realized as humble as I am I could let go more and get thru the fear and soothe myself not expect him to fix my PAIN> There si so much to explain that this post would be super long but basically you will have good days and bad days. try not to think about her at all pretend she does not exist. if you interact with him and have any thoughts of her in your mind it will poison you , I did this a few times with my H and i never said a word about her but he read my face like a book. And I would always say something like ".....oh nothing honey I am fine,, My stomache hurts..." Do not mention her,,,, it will do you no good. I am sure there are others here who will give you good advice on how to get thru this time.... Just 3 days ago I finally got up the nerve to nicely ask him to erase her pic inside his phone and old TM and her phone number. And he grabbed his phone and did it all and said " DONE!" and smiled at me. A month ago he would have not been as calm or sweet about this subject. It will be a BATTLE honey but if this is what you really want then prepare yourself. you will need lots of strength, it tests your love for yourself to go thru this. I knew that i had to be strong to get thru this and not let my emotions rule me. Be his safe place to land and by that I do not mean be a doormat, be strong be yourself but do not cause any drama be calm. I feel as though I was rambling a bit but I hope you get some good out of waht I have sadi to you. I care alot BOUT YOU AND WISH YOU ALL THE BEST BUT REMEBER THAT IT WIL TAKE TIME. i STILL LOOK AT MY h AND WANT TO CRY CAUSE i CANNO T BELIEVE i MADE IT THRU AND HELD ON WHEN i FELT LIKE HE WAS KILLING ME WHILE ALIVE AND i HELD ON AND STAYED STRONG AND NEVER GAVE UP AND MOST OF ALL DID NOT SCREAM, SHOW ANGER OR BE MENA TO HIM. I WAS HUMBLE AND I WAS WHO GOD WOULD LIKE FOR ME TO BE. I WAS ACTING IN A WAY THAT WOULD MAKE GOD HIMSELF PROUD OF ME. And I would remind myself when I felt my temper coming ON " WILL WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO HELP ME REACH MY GOAL? IF NOT THEN DO NOT SAY IT OR DO IT. MY BROTHER AND MY LITTLE NEPHEW JUST STOPPED OVER FOR A VISIT,, WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. XOXOXOXOXO ALI HOPE I HELPED A LITTLE. GOD BLESS...
Wow sorry for the unedited version of my thoughts it is just that I have not seen my brother in awhile and also I have tried to post to you sooooooooooooooo many times before and I always close the window instead of sending it. I thought better she read it rough draft like that than not at all. Here is a condensed version. Love yourself enough to know that you are beautiful, worthwhile, precious, caring,loving, important, sexy, loved, valued and amazing ..
.... carry with you a love for yourself that helps you shine even when the world seems out to get you, be the beautiful Woman that is there underneath all the fear, underneath all the bull sh*t that has been done to you, and ABOVE someone who would ever allow herself to get involved with YOUR husband to begin with. You are better than that do not let her rob you of your happiness. Long and short of it love yourself and show him love like he never hurt you.
...be the fun, smiling person you used to be before he took your heart out and hung it to dry. I always felt as though my h tied me to the back of his truck and forgot to look back and then when he finally untied me,, I had a lot of healing to do...
......... you can do this kepp coming here for support. Love Emily, love and love some more, allow him to Grow amd become the man he needs to be for you and most of all for himself. I finally asked my H to remove all the remnants of OW two days ago [[ HER PIC A TM AND HER PHONE NUMBER}}and he complied.... so it DOES take awhile {{{ EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN TIME FRAME FOR THINGS}}}and BTW he still has her name tattooed on his chest and it does not hurt as much anymore .It feels like a slight slap in the face every now and again and I pray one day he will " cover " it. He promised a week ago to do it and has not made it a priority. But you know what, I am crying as I write this to you. I can go to bed at nite knowing I did everything in my Power to be the beautiful person I am and to rise above their Sh*t and still live in THE ....light. I remained faithful and worked towards my miracle. I know you can do this tooooooooooooooooooo. ..... for you have integrity too. Hang in there baby you can do this. God bless...
Just checking in on you. You sound better. Remember that your H is an adult (no matter how much he doesn't act like it) - so if he says he is going to call and doesn't - don't make excuses to call.
Just as AmyC says - slowly turn your back to it.
You are doing the right thing. Now go out and get your drivers license, start your own pet grooming business and above all - please get a van like the one Jeff Daniels has in Dumb and Dumber!!!! LOL!
Thanks Alimari . . . . I appreciate it! Thanks for checking in Santhony!
Guys . . . I feel a storm brewing . . . . I hope I'm wrong . . but everything feels wrong at this point.
I think that he may honestly be willing to "try" this time. . . but it feels forced . . . it doesn't feel like he is happy. I just don't know what to do. I'll always have doubts about the OW . . . and everything I feel I need (building of trust etc.) ONLY pushes him farther away. I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to sit still and watch . . but it's getting really hard.
)
LMAO!!!!! 
I will post to you in a little bit or email you. In any event I hope you are having a wonderful morning. 
xoxoxo ALI