Anyone Ever Think Your S is a Train Wreck??

[toughlover]

I realize this is probably too negative for Piecing, but even though my W and I are committed to working this out, some days I just look at her, knowing everything she's done, all the years of lies and the bizarre thinking behind it, her willingness to risk the love and respect of her parents and family, the well-being of her kids, and even what was in her own best interest and self-respect just to be with the OM "for the rest of her life" ... I just look at her some days and think, "What a friggin' nutjob"

I don't mean to be ugly about it. I have forgiven her. I treat her better than ever...really, much better than she (or any of us probably) truly deserve, but still, I can't help but wonder about someone who'd do all that and convince herself it was OK.

We're talking serious mental gymnastics.

I mean, after a while I get myself all worked up about how I'm not getting what I want from W, then I think, "Yeah, but look at the kind of person she's been. Do you really want it from her?"

It's a dilemma.