I think I went on the solution focused site and I wrote about my story and what I should do and before I knew it Laurie had contacted me. I really don't know how I did it. But I could contact Laurie and let her know that you would like to contact her about your story. Did you read my last sitch about the in law letter? I wrote them a letter about what I felt about the divorce and that I didn't hate them or H and that I was working on forgiving him. Do you think I should send it or not? I don't won't it to look like I'm still pursuing him. What would you do? Thanks
Hey spike...was reading your thread and came across the letter to the inlaws thing. I keep in contact with XW's parents but it is NOTHING like it was when we were married. May be good info to them but like I have read in a lot of posts...it may not make a bit of difference but straight info to inlaws.
yeah...it isn't an act to pursue him, but to just tell them that I don't hate thier son for what he's done and I'm working on forgiving him. I wanted to "smooth" things over and didn't want all of us to have this bitterness in us building up. I was just telling them sorry for any thing that has happened in the past few months. But maybe I should not send the letter and let time heal the wounds.
I would appreciate it if you would contact Laurie for me. As for the letter to in-laws. What kind of R did you have with them and do they seem mad at you because of the separation?
If you had a good R, then I don't think it would hurt to tell them that you don't want a divorce from their S. However, make sure you frame it in as positive language as possible. Like instead of I don't hate you, maybe I still care deeply for you both and hope we can remain in contact. Just reread it and take out any negative sentences.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
If you really want advice from Laurie, I would suggest that you book a telephone consultation. Laurie usually responds to posts as a follow-up to a conversation to wrap things up for you. The time you will spend with her will be well worth it.
I agree that we can not always afford to spend the money but how much is a chance to save your M worth to you? If you really want some advice quickly, I would make the call.
When I say I can't afford a phone consultation, I mean I really can not afford it. I have no extra money and am playing catch up from having to pay my property taxes. There is no way I can afford it. I have had counseling locally but the first counselor was horrible. I can do that because my insurance covers it.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I just thought that getting an hour from Laurie would be very helpful but I can understand your situation.
Perhaps if you post a question to Laurie the Moderator can contact her to let her know there is a question for her. She is really hard to get a hold of sometimes as she does tend to be very busy.
Laurie does try to answer questions when she can. I see that she hasn't been on the boards since Sep.20. The Moderator at times has also been very helpful in answering a question or two and of course there are all the people on the bb that can be very helpful too.
Have you tried to find another counsellor through your employment? I know that I have had to go through a couple myself before I actually found someone I liked.
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
I had an assessment but haven't heard back about the referral. I will have to call them to find out what is going on.
Thanks for your help.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
my 1st post but WOW. i was reading your 1st post and thought your sitution reads just like mine. Then I read that your mediation date is also 10/16. Same as mine. I've decided not to go. Gonna ditch work and make it a girls day. I figure...Why do I need to be there so he can once again have the satisfaction to look over at me and tell me that he is sorry, but our marriage was a mistake.
