Do you ever draw the line?

[MTHeart]

I totally understand what you're saying. It's easy to lose sight of that logic sometimes becase the act itself is so selfish, thoughtless and hurtful. And I was advised to show more emotion to convey just those ideas to spouse (HURTFUL!!) She keeps saying: I don't like hurting you.
To me the answer is: THEN STOP DOING IT.

I try to remember that I am dealing with a symptom of a "retardation" of emotional growth ie: IF she was grown up inside she wouldn't do this. I am giving her time and space to work and grow up inside. I just wish she'd hurry the )*&$% up with it. You are right, it's hard hard HARD but I am choosing to do this and am not a victim. This is also a game where I am supposed to be the "bad guy" and end our relationship because of the A. Then spouse has no responsibility for the ultimate outcome. How childish. Back to the "stunted emotional growth" I guess.
Battender, furniture polish for all my friends! I'm paying!
(if you don't get that joke I apologize)