I think this arrangement is an indication fo how well we are db'ing. If the frequency stays the same or increases than obviously we need to try a different tactic in DB'ing. Rather than concentrating on the painful act look at it as a symptom or indicator of how well we are doing. That kind of detachment is hard, hard, hard and actually you can stop them...leave! But you (and I ) are choosing not to. Therefore, in a way, we are no longer victims but are making an active choice to overlook it, for the time being. The hope is that we can make an impact and stop the behaviour. Of course, there comes a time when enough is enough. We each have our limit. If you have reached that limit than maybe an ultimatum is the answer e.g. "you've got one month to decide where you want us to be or I'm gone". If that ends the R then, so be it! But for now to dwell on it can only be destructive and hurt your DB strategy. I too fight my tendency to dwell cuz it's there. My S does not "sleep over" (which I'm sure makes it easier for me) but a few "togetherness" trips have taken place and I'm sure they ain't paying scrabble! Remember, one day the furniture will rise up and take back the house!
