Lil, I respect your opinion. And of course on here I tell you all about the problems that are going on. I don't really elaborate on the things that go well. Maybe I should, but I don't really post on here, mostly just read, unless something is really bothering me and I'm stumped on how to deal with it.
And I agree that 'loving' someone is not always a reason to stick around. The issue is, my XH and I have been together for a long time. I have invested myself, my whole being into this relationship. I WILL NOT walk away because it's the cleaner, less stressful thing to do. I attempt to set deadlines for improvement. I get angry and put some distance between us so that I can see the picture clearly. It only reveals to me that just because we are 'both' going through a bumpy... and I mean Mt. Everest bumpy, time right now it is not a reason to quit!
In the long run, quitting would ease the turmoil. Sure. It wouldn't be easy. I would be devastated. But such is life. And I would survive. It is not MY answer, right now.
Call me tenatious but because he is going through his own emotional conflicts (I think it's a form of MLC) I can't give up on him. I guess I have hope. And faith. That his eyes will defog one day soon. He has shown signs of it in the last couple of months. On and off. I am not looking to change him. He was a great husband and father before. He is still a great father. As a husband/partner it comes and goes.
I really think what he hasn't considered is that I won't be here forever for him. That I will eventually hit the end of my rope and he won't be free to call me with his 'news' or his excitement over something. That I won't be there to nod in agreement when he bitches about his job or some other grievance.
I guess time will tell. I just want to have something non-threatening to tell him when he says I damaged his confidence. (I'm sure I did in my way. But his confidence was far from perfect before anything happened.)
