You're right, I have always tried to maintain the opinion that her therapist is doing what's got to be done for her. I know my W makes her own decisions regardless of the people that influence her. I have often thought that the therapist needs to maintain a friend/supportive relationship in order to maintain my W's trust and not destroy any opportunity for catharsis. But still, it seems that she's helping her develop this fabricated world rather than develop herself in the real world.
I never expected her therapist to tell her to stop the A. I wonder how much honest exploration of the A is possible while it's ongoing though.
No, I'm not thinking about it. In fact, I'm not thinking much about W either. I'm doing my thing and enjoying life. S4 and I had a great day together - went to the gym (he loves the kid's playroom there - it gives him the opportunity to make friends), went grocery shopping and came down to the city to go swimming with my brother (lifeguard and swim instructor). S4 is getting much more comfortable in the water. Then we went out for Chinese food together. All in all a really nice day.
I think I really need to worry about the real cheese in my life and my son's and not worry about the cheese in my W's tunnels. When she's ready to explore a relationship with me, we'll see where I am. Until then, there's really not much worth fighting for. I'll be civil and kind, but I'm no longer trying to change any dynamics or save this marriage. I think this right now is where I need to be - letting go completely.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
