As always, I appreciate the concern and support. Yeah, I know it's crazy. But don't forget, I'm the one who's delusional and in denial here! In her defense, she does speak everything on her mind very frankly, and this is not something that really alarms me. I don't think she'd even think about doing anything to either of us. It's kind of like when my mother used to get up from the dinner table and scream about how she was going to kill herself. It was all talk - her way of venting her frustration. In my W's case, this A presents many obstacles, and unfortunately, our son is one of them because of the different country issue. So yes, on some level something happening to him would make her life easier, or at least acheiving her goal of eternal bliss.
She is in therapy, although I don't know whether these issues are being dealt with in any way. I know her therapist is validating her feelings about wanting to continue to explore this affair relationship (I guess it matters not that it's totally inappropriate) and she is of the opinion that I'm in denial and she was surprised that I didn't do more to address my W's depression (which she was being treated for) - so basically, she's validating the feelings of a depressed person that the other party is the one to blame for everything. Good therapist.
Just one of those WTF moments I wanted to document: last night W went out with a friend. She came home about 10:30. She came into our room and said: "I'm banned from my own room. Just because I don't want to sleep with you, I can't sleep in my own room." Wow - her choice had a consequence?
This morning, I had a strained conversation with W. Basically, she gave me an attitude. I told her not to talk to me that way and this sparked a bit of an issue. First of all she told me that I was treating her like a child. Then she told me that I was causing the attitude. Then she told me that she can talk to me any way she wants to. Then she told me that I don't deserve respect because I don't show it to her.
I'm starting to think it would be best for me to get out now.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
