Muddle's Waters III

[MuddleThrough]

Mama, thanks for being the voice of reason. I know you're right about W needing to be the one to turn away, but sometimes it's appealing to look at this as an addiction where once you remove the drug, the reasons for using become more apparent. I know you're right about creating resentment and pissing her off too. On some level I want to just toss her under a truck of her own design, but the fact is that she is doing it to herself, whether I contribute or not, and she's going to have to face the consequences.

OM has nothing to lose - except maybe his career - through this. He has no kids and is not M. His 10 year relationship broke up as a result of this, but it was on its way out. In fact, he decided 3 years ago to break up, but couldn't do it for one reason or another. I guess he needed a crutch to do so. The reason I say his career might be at stake is that he is in Europe, educated to be an urban planner (sociology). I'm not sure there's much of a market for that sort of job here, and he'd surely have to move here because W would lose S4 if she left. He'd also lose his friends and peers.

She needs to truly understand what she's losing, I know. At this point, she's under the impression that she'll stay in our house (rental that's too expensive for us now) and I'll move out to her mother's house because it's "best for S4" for them to stay there. And I'll pay for it. Truly delusional, but she thinks it's justified.

Thanks for you input and compassion. I'm doing well internally, I'm just having a difficult time watching my W create this world, and this version of me, that's so dark and sad. I know I can't control anyone else's actions or realities. Just have to keep on keepin' on.