Seems like she has a ton of resentment towards you and you DB-ing and acting calm makes it even worse for her. She is baiting you to blow up...will make her feel better about herself.

I think you may be on the right track by getting some seperation/withdrawal/distance...she needs time away to think about what she wants...with you together it seems to feed her anger and she is not thinking about things.

Keep up your emotional control and feeling good about yourself...kill her with kindness eventually she will have to accept it and come around (you would hope)...

"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."