It is a lovely gesture, Muddle. I remember when my W dropped the bomb on me she said how amazed she was at my mature response (no yelling or screaming etc).I told her that "I refuse to allow you or anyone else to turn me into someone I do not want to be". I continued to do the things I felt were respectful and caring, she could do what she wanted. That is how I chose to live. If you give with no expectation of return, that is the mark of true character. You are continuing to respect your W, despite her antics, and that shows your true character. That said, keep in mind Muddle,that setting boundaries is a loving thing to do for you, her and the M. She can't set them for herself right now, and maybe never could, but by doing so you are doing her a huge favor whether she gets it or not. I hope your card and kindness is met with something wonderful like maybe a kiss on the cheek, that would even suffice. Any kindness returned on her part is a gift, accept it as such and as nothing more for now. If there is no response just remember that tomorrow is a new day (beginners mind) but for now, what is is! P.S. Hey, maybe this should be our new DB mantra, "love is setting boundaries" Have a great weekend, guy.
