Another day. Not much to say. I saw very little of my W last night, so no real interactions to speak of. She blew me a kiss when she went down to bed though. Mmmm, crumbs.
I think more and more that the only way I can make this situation better is to stop caring so much about it. Detach from the outcome, from my desire to make it work. Put that focus and desire into making each and every moment in my life happy and worth something. Looking for change, or looking to see what my W is doing does nothing for us if she doesn't want it to. If I can be happy and put the effort into finding that happiness in each moment, there will truly be something there for her to look at and admire if and when she turns this way. If not, well, the time hasn't been wasted. Or has it? Am I ignoring things that are in my power to turn this sitch around? Am I passively allowing her to walk out the door and completely push me out of her heart? I've never been so far from her as I am now. How much of this really is my doing?
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
