Hi Muddle, Glad you survived the weekend. It must be very difficult to live with someone who is so verbally aggressive and, frankly, rude. Her laughter when you were explaining marriage to your son was actually quite cruel and totally inappropriate. It pisses me off! I can only imagine how you must feel dealing with it day in and day out. My W tends to just ignore me, like I'm furniture. If I begin a discussion which she believes is below her (my assumption here)e.g. my life she just doesn't respond and then I go away! If you are planning to "go dark" as you put it can I suggest something? Sit down with your W and propose what you want to do e.g. separate the duties, money etc. and involve her in it. This puts it right in her face and she can see you are serious. To just stop buying groceries for her etc is "vindictive". You can put it forward as a plan to best meet the needs of both of you at this point. You can present it as a plan to assist her in her stated desire to be independent etc. She becomes involved in the process this way. It is clear and straightforward. You respect her and want to do this together. Sell it to her. It may certainly cut down on the crap you have to take and if she wants, for example, for you to pick something up for her, she has to ask. I presented my W with a budget for her to go over (she always resents that I "control" the money, which means I pay the bills!), asked her to go over it and add anything I may have missed. We had agreed to sit down and discuss it together. Two weeks later she still hadn't gone over it. I asked again. Yes, she'd do it. Guess what I've never heard from her again about it. Now it is her who has not made the effort, not me keeping things from her. So think it through, guy. I hope others will hop in here. Just remember if you can't take her crap anymore then there are plenty of ways to DB, together or apart. Do what you gotta do!
