Old thread locked up. You can find it here: Old Thread. Basically a nice weekend. W was busy living, and things went well. Now she's back in her head, she's busy hating her life again. During the weekend, I noticed a couple times when she consciously chose to love me. She appologized for being nasty and actually kissed me at one point. I found a lot of opportunities to be my best, and I know that she'll have a hard time finding someone as good as me. In fact, I keep thinking that I should just completely let go and stop being a part of her life. I don't think she quite realizes just how much I do. I guess I'm starting to feel angry again. I told myself about a week ago that I would really be my best for about three more weeks and then go dark (well, as dark as I can living with her). I think I'll execute this by really planning who has our son on what day, get a new bank account and deposit only my portion of the bill money in there, shop for groceries for S4 and myself and let her get what ever she wants that's extra for herself (she is a princess and gets whatever she wants at the grocery store without regard to price and then always complains about the fact that there's nothing in the house for her to eat - and this is always my fault).
Funny story: there was a typo in the vows at my BIL's wedding. My BIL recited that he "promised to love conditionally"!!! I almost asked him if this ran in the family! He has no idea of what's going on though.
So, that's my plan for the short term. I really am a bit concerned that I'm being vindictive, but on the other hand, she's getting everything from me and still crapping on me in the process. I don't really want to put myself in a superior position, but it's clear that she'll push me as far as I'll let her. Also, I can't help feeling rejected everytime I put myself out there for her. I love her, and I act accordingly. She never sees it (or says she doesn't) and uses this as a way to manipulate me to do for her. I think I'm done doing this - at least very soon. I want to show her (and really show myself in the process) that I can really go above and beyond what a husband should. Do you guys think this going dark thing is a good idea? I'm not sure how to accomplish it, and I'm also not sure if I'm going to do more damage if I do. Maybe it doesn't even matter at this point.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein