Emily - When you say ypou're too scared to go to school - is it a fear of failure thing, or something else? I'm serious about talking with your doctor, btw - you may be suffering from some depression, or may have an anxiety disorder (which can be related to depression). There is help available.
I hear you on the math - but there are some educational options that don't require it. With your interest in drawing, you could go to a technical school for computer graphics or the like. Or you could just pick a major that has some "easy" breadth requirements that don't include much math. And it's certainly not too late to go back to school!!! Is there a ciollege near you now?
You don't have to make the decision now about going back to school but I want you to keep this in mind...
I went into the Air Force when I was 20 and came out @ 23 with a baby and no experience other than that from working in daycare centers as a teenager and the personnel specialist background I had gotten in the AF.
I had a hard time finding a job at first but my mom got me into the plant where she worked (I surprised the hell out of myself by PASSING the math test after mom coached me for a couple weeks specifically on fractions, which I too hated).
I met my husband while working the temporary position I had there. Then I had a couple other thankless, minimum wage jobs until I had my daughter in '95.
I stayed at home for the about the next 6 years before I decided to get "back out there". It was the scariest thing I had done in my life at that point and I tested for a post office job, passed the test and went through the training to be a relief carrier on my own mail route. That didn't last a year though. When I had to go for my first real job interview after my H and I separated the first time I was scared stiff almost. Every bit of confidence I'd had in myself was long gone. I remember reading the letters of reference my Supervisor, First Sergeant and Commander wrote me when I left the Air Force years before and I would wonder "what happened to THAT girl?".
It wasn't until 6 months after we first separated that I got a PT job working in shipping/receiving at a locally owned company when the VP herself took a liking to me and pulled me from the bottom of the ladder all the way up to the top to work for her FULL TIME, that I began to feel a sense of self-worth again.
She spent the next year and a half polishing me up, telling me at every turn "you can do this!".
It was not easy, though.
The job she gave me had me interacting with every department and being the liason between them all and her.
Then do you know what she did?
Essentially she fired me.
That was May 2005.
I had not done anything wrong.
But she knew something that I still did not know.
She told me the day she fired me that I could either stay there and be "stifled" or I could spread my wings.
She said I was ready.
I was not so sure.
But by then I was separated again and so I had no choice but to hit the ground running and with her letter of reference, I landed the job as a Legal Assistant that I have now.
BUT, THAT was also just a stepping stone because on Tuesday, I got hired by a huge law firm and I start working for one of the Sr. partners on Sept. 18th.
I did not say all that to toot my own horn because make NO mistake, this ride has been hard and I DID NOT get here on my own.
I don't regret the years I stayed at home but it sure as hell set me back.
If you stay out of the "game" of life for too long, it'll be hell getting yourself ready for it.
Maybe you won't have to go back to school.
Maybe one day up the road you will change your mind, though.
Maybe you will catch a break like I did but even after that, it's been ME that's had to make it all work out and I am often STILL not sure I have what it takes.
Truth be told I am terrified to start this new job...I'll tell you a secret about that, too. That's the voice of my mother saying "who the hell do you think you are!?"...
See I have may share of old demons I still fight.
But knowing that is more than half the battle so get acquainted with yours.
If it had not been for the Lord and the successful people who have consistently believed in me I probably would have just settled on something insignificant and behind the scenes that paid minimum wage.
I'd have NEVER took a chance and put myself out there.
But I had no choice and God has carried me through it all and put many wonderful people in my path to help me.
Just don't let yourself get left behind, Emily.
I'm afraid if you do, you will find yourself in an even worse crisis up the road.
Amy- Congratulations on your new job! That is so awesome!!
Emily, I was doing some more thinking about your interests & your situation this afternoon and I realized that there is another thing you might be interested in that I recently found out about.So here goes: a woman who lives down the road from me has her own petsitting/walking service. She drives to to her clients homes and feeds, walks, grooms, etc. She also takes pets to vet appointments if necessary. I have no idea what something like that would pay, but if you love animals and get yourself a car you could have your own business if you want. Have you any experience with grooming? I live not too far from DC and I notice there are a lot more traveling groomers on the roads around here. Don't mean to overwhelm you...just brainstorming. Good luck.
