Quote: If the support order is for, say, $800 - you say you would only be receiving $350. But that's not entirely true, is it, because you receive housing and food stamps and Medicare too, right? Believe me, all that stuff costs a lot more than $800. I know it. THE POINT IS THAT I WOULDN'T BE MOOCHING OFF THE STATE. I COULD SAY THAT SOME OF MY MONEY WAS COMING FROM MY H. I HATE BEING ON TOTAL STATE ASSISTANCE The other point was that I HAVE been looking for a job. I get penalized for NOT having one. . . . when I honest to God can't find one. I even got on CareerLink and CareerBuilder . . . and found SQUAT!!!! I also understand that it costs more and that the state deserves to be paid back BUT couldn't they take a hundred dollars a time OR SOMETHING and allow me to have the rest to support my children?? IF I HAD TO STAY ON THE ASSISTANCE . . which I don't understand how they could make me!
Emily - I don't think you're understanding the financial issues here. Scenario one: you drop the support order, he pays you the $800, but you no longer qualify for medicare or food stamps or free housing because as far as the state is concerned, you are now "with" your H and his income looks like yours. You would be way worse off financially, right?
Scenario Two - you stay on assistance, H pays his $800 to the state (plus whatever they want to ding him for back support) you receive $350 but also free rent, Medicare, food stamps, access to other programs - all adding up to way more than $800
Scenario Three - H actually comes home, supports you and the kids. It would be nice, but I would believe it when you see it. So far you have only had words from him, words that do not match his actions, even if he's trying to come home he's not there yet and it's pretty suspicious that this is all happening right before the support hearing.
GET THE SUPPORT ORDER, you can always drop it if you truly reconcile, but you need to have that now.
