Quote: You can build trust by seeing if he will do what I have suggested. There is no reason for him NOT to give you a check that is post dated, and to back off and let you SEE that he has changed. At least not if he REALLY wants to make it work.
AWESOME PLAN FRANK! TRULY BRILLIANT!
I will do this tonight. He has plenty of money (over $1000.00) in his account. The problem with his phone I guess was that since he has crap for credit they only allowed him X amount of minutes/dollars a month and then it gets shut off until he pays up. Well he wasn't aware he was going over . . . as soon as he figure out he could do a payment automaticly it corrected the problem. I'm NOT sure I 100% believe this story. It was late and I was half asleep so I may have gotten it slightly wrong . . who knows.
OK . . . If I am going to do this. I don't know how much money to ask for?!?!? I mean if I tell him I want a check to prove he'll step up and give me something . . . how much do I tell him it should be for? OR BETTER YET . . . do I let HIM come up with the amount . . . and see what he does?!?! OH I like that idea!
Quote: Emily - I suspect the state will go after him for the back child support regardless of what you do. Remember, the state has been paying for your kids when he SHOULD have been paying - they will want to get him to pay them back what he should have been contributing all along. Check with your caseworker - i don't know how it all works if there wasn't a legal order for support before. I called Cumberland County and talked directly to the people handling the case. They said if we decide to reconcile it's fine. As soon as he moves back in and the cash assistance ends . . I can choose to drop the case. I just have to go through the welfare office before I can go through the domectic relations office. So it's a long process . . we'll see if he's willing to work at it. She said we have to keep out conference next week . . . but that we should explain the sitch.
If the support order is for, say, $800 - you say you would only be receiving $350. But that's not entirely true, is it, because you receive housing and food stamps and Medicare too, right? Believe me, all that stuff costs a lot more than $800. I know it. THE POINT IS THAT I WOULDN'T BE MOOCHING OFF THE STATE. I COULD SAY THAT SOME OF MY MONEY WAS COMING FROM MY H. I HATE BEING ON TOTAL STATE ASSISTANCE The other point was that I HAVE been looking for a job. I get penalized for NOT having one. . . . when I honest to God can't find one. I even got on CareerLink and CareerBuilder . . . and found SQUAT!!!! I also understand that it costs more and that the state deserves to be paid back BUT couldn't they take a hundred dollars a time OR SOMETHING and allow me to have the rest to support my children?? IF I HAD TO STAY ON THE ASSISTANCE . . which I don't understand how they could make me!
Pursue the support order. It is his OBLIGATION to pay this money. If you get a job and can survive on the support money and your income, then great, you can go off of assistance. If you reconcile, then he can move home and prove himself and you can come off of assistance then I don't mind RECEIVING HELP! I.E. Food stamps and medical . . . but being on the cash assistance makes me feel like scum!! Honestly . . I just want to be able to cancel my cash and support myself some other way. I know a job would be great for that but read what I just wrote above about my job hunt!
