Emily - I suspect the state will go after him for the back child support regardless of what you do. Remember, the state has been paying for your kids when he SHOULD have been paying - they will want to get him to pay them back what he should have been contributing all along. Check with your caseworker - i don't know how it all works if there wasn't a legal order for support before.
If the support order is for, say, $800 - you say you would only be receiving $350. But that's not entirely true, is it, because you receive housing and food stamps and Medicare too, right? Believe me, all that stuff costs a lot more than $800.
Pursue the support order. It is his OBLIGATION to pay this money. If you get a job and can survive on the support money and your income, then great, you can go off of assistance. If you reconcile, then he can move home and prove himself and you can come off of assistance then.
