It sounds like you're just coasting along right now and not actively DB'ing...
When is the last time you scrubbed through your goal list? (Have you even made a goal list?) It sounds like right now you're wandering about a little lost without direction or any idea of where to go next - This is exactly why we need goals! If you don't know where you're going, how are you supposed to know how to get there?
I know how hard it is to come up with your goals or revise your old goal list if it's not working for you but it's something you have to do... so just sit down and start thinking. Commit yourself to getting back on the DB bus.
One thing you might want to try is acting "as if". It's funny because during DB, I never really understood this concept and how to apply it to my sitch but now I think I'm getting the hang of it. Start doing things and reacting to things in a way that your W doesn't expect.
For example (on my thread), H and I had an argument and I came home with flowers - which I've never done. He expected an argument when I got home but instead he got something different. Another example - last week we argued while he was on his way home from work and when he got home, I had a nice dinner waiting for him. Again, he was expecting a moody wife but didn't get one.
Are there any ways you can apply this sort of thing to your interactions with your W? Show her you're a different person and trying to change.
JJ
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