Michele gave really good advice to Lynn that I thought you might be able to use.....her sit isn't the same, but for the intensity of the feelings with upcoming situations, I thought her advice would apply:
Lynn, Okay. Here is some straight-shooting advice. NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND'S POSSIBLY MISSING YOUR ANNIVERSARY, YOU NEED TO STAY COOL AND NOT RESPOND. You see, the bottomline for DBing is this. Your feelings are important. You should be aware of them, acknowledge them in yourself and then YOU MUST BE IN CHARGE OF HOW YOU REACT REGARDLESS OF YOUR FEELINGS. In other words, when the going gets tough, you need to ask yourself the questions I write about in Divorce Remedy, "What am I hoping to accomplish,?" "Is what I'm about to do going to bring me closer to the goal, or push me farther away,?" If your answer is farther away, DON'T DO IT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL. Do something else. Your husband is showing signs of softening. Don't ruin it by pushing him away. Work on yourself. This is a skill you will need even if your marriage gets back on track. You can't always say what you feel. If you do, it's a formula for disaster.
Make plans for yourself to keep yourself busy if that helps you to take your mind off things. You will be so proud of yourself when you overcome the temptation to react or to get back at him over the holidays. No offense, but what a bad idea!!!! Remember, you want him back in your life. That's your goal. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Now, you go girl! Do what works!!!
Michele The Divorce Buster
JJ
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