Everyone's sitch is different so I can understand how hard it is at first to apply the techniques to your particular sitch.
The first thing I would do is write down what goals you want to accomplish with your R, your W and yourself.
Once you have those, then I would do four things: (1) Review past and recent conversation with your W and try to remember what hints she was giving you as to what she liked and didn't like. (2) Review your thread, there are some hints and clues here in as well as to things that you could work on and change. (3) Review other people's threads continuously and try to find sitch's that match yours and see what steps those people are taking. (4) Evaluate yourself and find things about yourself that you would like to improve or change.
When you have a better understading of your W, yourself and your sitch, you will begin to see certain things that stand out to you that you can begin to work on. It's very hard to show change when you don't have much contact with your S but you want to formulate a plan to work on your goals that is tangible - that your W will see - and that meet up with DB techniques.
You should come out of this exercise with a list of overall goals you want to achieve and the steps you're going to take to achieve them.
Then comes the important part. How do you know if the steps you're taking are working? Now you're going to have to come up with a list of ways that you will know your ideas are working.
I hope this helps... make sure to post your ideas and thoughts and we'll help you work through them.
-Calystra
JJ
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