My H left me and our 2 boys, ages 4 and 6, in January too. I too wish I had known about Michele's books earlier - way earlier, like years ago!
Here's the good news: it's not too late. If you are having trouble with patience, just remember this: if you want this to work, you MUST be patient! No exceptions! It is the most difficult thing to do, but it WILL NOT WORK if you are not patient. Every time you feel like getting back involved in the circle of conflict, remember your 2 year old. That's what helped me get started in the patience area! I knew it was up to ME to do the best thing for our boys. I'm still working on me, and so far, I have seen small positives in my H. So I have much more hope than I did 3 months ago!
If you remember that you are in control of you - only YOU can control YOU - it gives you internal power that you've lost over time. You can change yourself. You can be a better person. You can see your faults. You can become a better person, and your spouse will see it with time.
If you read the other posts on these boards, you will see you are not alone by any means! We are all here because our marriages are not working right now. The common theme to start repairing your marriage is to repair yourself - and it works! It is really difficult to look deep inside yourself, acknowledge your role in the breakdown of the relationship, and DO something about it - and it all starts with you.
KEEP POSITIVE! These times are the most difficult times of your life. But stay on track. Do whatever you can to stay on track. You will be a better parent because of it! Don't let angry words hit your soul - let them go.
I hope you will read posts from others - they are really inspiring. And you will see that you too will have the ability and strength to do everything you can to save your marriage! Stay the course!
See you around the boards, MomOfTwo
JJ
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