Before you say anything, ask yourself if it is going to move things with H forward. Will it most likely produce a positive outcome or a negative one? This has worked for me many times. If you know that the outcome will be negative, then you must keep quiet. That is extremely difficult when you really want to get things out in the open and hear H say what you want to hear. But, the chances of hearing what you want to hear are probably pretty slim. So, silence.
Act as if everything is wonderful with you. Okay, I'm sure that you probably don't feel wonderful, but H doesn't have to know that. I assure your that pretending is very difficult, but that it can have a very positive effect. There have been mornings (my H is still at home) when I wanted to be a real b*&ch, but I greeted him with a smile and a cheery attitude and he responded the same way.
If you say nothing about the OW or about the whole sitch, it will obviously be a change and your H will probably be taken off guard.
You can do it. It takes a whole lot of strength sometimes, but I don't know of a woman alive who hasn't got the strength to do whatever it takes when life gets tough.
Remember, if in doubt about what to say, say nothing at all. Wonderful advice I read on this board.
Find yourself something to keep busy, look good, feel good about yourself. Don't ruin your weekend with thoughts and convo about someone who I'm sure isn't worth the time and energy (OW).
You can do this.
Loved One
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!