Believe me, I know the pain you are feeling. You will find many here do, which is what makes it the best place to be when you are in this situation!
Do you have The Divorce Remedy (or Divorce Busting)? If not, please go buy it today and start reading. It has worked for me, and I see it working all over this board in so many ways.
First and foremost, remember that you can only change and control yourself. Take a long, hard look at who you are and compare it to who you want to be. Compliment yourself on those things which match or are close! And start working on changing those things which are not.
Treat your wife as your best friend, who is going through a difficult time of questioning what she wants out of life and whether she is on the right path. Don't apply pressure. Give her compassion. Listen to what she says she wants and needs from you and do what you can to give her those things, even if it's space and time.
If she needs to explore whether there is a chance for her in the EA, there is really nothing you can do to change that. It's a decision she has to make for herself - and if it's not going to work out (and most don't), that's something she's going to have to learn for herself. Trying to rush that process will only backfire.
You need to take care of yourself. Discover what your needs are, what your bounderies are, what you want and how to get that. When you read the book, really pay attention to goal-setting and writing down what steps to take to get there. Keep track of what gives you positive results and what doesn't. And don't forget the rest of your life - have fun when you can, spend time with friends, take care of yourself.
Above all, remember that this is going to take time. You will need lots of patience. But you have a chance here to really grow, and that's priceless.
Keep us updated! pbutterfly
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
