One thing my counselor said to me long ago that I wished I had listened to was to think of your spouse at this time in your marriage as a little, frail bird in your hand.
You want the bird to sit in your hand, you want it to trust you...so let it sit there quietly and when it feels safe, then maybe you can gently stroke it, not pet it, with your finger...
When it trusts you some more, then maybe you can pet it...And when it really feels comfortable, it will let you feed it...
Get the idea? patience...be calm, be still and let the bird sit in your hand or else you might crush it or force it to fly away.
Jtois
JJ
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