I don’t know if I’m sensing this right, but there seems to be an “I need this R fixed and I need it fixed NOW” approach that’s not too helpful. It makes sense as far as avoiding pain, but not much sense if you want to keep this marriage. It seems you’re trying to skip the pain (as well as being reactive to your wife’s behavior) with your thoughts about dating (because your wife “has been and will probably do even more”). Blues, if your quick fix doesn’t work and you decide to move onto someone else, it seems you’re avoiding working through this. Escaping into another R could simply offer a repeat of the same painful issues you have now.
I encourage you to slow down, focus less on “reacting” to your wife, and thoughtfully consider the DB or DR (Step Number 5) concepts!! You have my support, Laurie C
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!