In some, if not most, troubled relationships, it's not that the other person can't or doesn't want to fulfill your needs, they just don't know how to identify and properly nurture those needs.
For example, you might like to be held, that is what fulfills your biggest need, being held. So if you show your W you love her by holding her, you are showing her "in your way" that you love her. Her idea, or way, of being shown your love might be talking (HER biggest need). So what have you done? You've shown her your love in a way that you would want love to be shown to you. You have disregarded her biggest need in the process, which is talking.
There are also different modes of communicating. Some people like to hear and be told things, some people like to be shown (visibly or through actions), while others prefer that they "feel" things.
So, between identifying the needs and communicating your love based on those needs, could it be possible that you and your wife need to learn more about each other?
If your W has doubts, chances are you aren't doing the best job of meeting her needs either. This is just a case of poor listening and poor communication. Don't tell me it's her fault, because it takes two, ALWAYS.
Greg
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
