OK, I'm going to assume that DB hasn't arrived yet, so I'm going to try a mini "crash-course" for you to get you through...
Your W is as confused (maybe more) as you are right now. She knows that something is wrong, but can't put her finger on it. She knows there's a better life, but doesn't know what it will take to get it.
Right now, YOU are a convenient target. She can point to things that she doesn't like and, by blaming you, can say that by getting rid of you, life will be better. That's why the ring is gone, that's why she's trying to blame you ("because I asked her to leave, this marriage is now totally over."), that's why you're hearing a lot of anger in her voice, that's why she says the love isn't there.
You don't have to avoid her to the point of being rude, but giving her space is an excellent first step to salvaging your marriage. Definitely avoid conversation about your relationship right now. That is a topic that will push your buttons. That is a topic that will push her buttons.
If one of your buddies from work was pissed off at you, how would you handle it? Most guys would back off for a while, let him cool down. But we don't offer the same room to our W's. We ask for reassurance that there are still some feelings from the same person who just told us to back the h*ll off.
Love is not something that just happens - it CAN and DOES grow because of deliberate choices that we, as humans, make. We choose to spend time with someone. We choose to do enjoyable things with someone. We choose to open up about private things. We choose to trust. We choose to make ourselves vulnerable. We choose all the things that make love possible. So, to answer your question, YES YES YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES! Love can grow again!
Until the book shows up and you have had a chance to read through it all the way at least once, the best thing you can do is nothing. Don't ask questions about how she feels about your relationship. Don't try to get reassurance. Don't push for intimacy (even a hug or kiss!). Just back off & "Act as if" she is a roommate not married to you. It will be hard, but don't show her that either. When you are around her, put on a happy face and live your life as if she isn't your W who you love & adore...
Hang in there,
-Nathan
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
and live your life as if she isn't your W who you love & adore...