Your last few messages seem to indicate that your shorter responses seem to get your H to want to connect with you. I’m glad you’re keeping track of these small, positive responses! So, generally it seems distancing is somewhat working for you now. Then, you said that the last few days he has been distancing, but I’m wondering what’s happened between this time? On 4/24, you wrote:
“He was very talkative and I was kinda of disappointed because I wanted to be somewhat distant for a couple of days.”
This makes me wonder if you then followed up the last few days not being distant? If that’s true, then you are discovering that, at least at this time in your relationship, distancing gives you better results! That should help you make your decision about tonight.
VCAL, may I suggest to something in mind as you go? Just because your husband was very talkative, didn’t mean you lost your option to be distant. You are in control as far as choosing how to respond. Chose your actions more by his “behavioral responses” than by what he says. As stated above, experiment with balancing some responsiveness with some aloofness (in other words, have some of your life without him). Then, give it some time. If after a few days, you mixed results, allow a bit more time (10-14 days) to really judge it.
I wish you well tonight!
Laurie
JJ
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