In regards to your question about how not to mess it up, please remember Michele’s wisdom: “Keep doing what is working and stop immediately what is not”. So, if you have been watching carefully, you could probably make a list about things you could do to really mess this relationship up right now, right? Make a concerted effort to NOT DO THOSE!
Then, for those behaviors or words that you have seen good responses, keep them up. Think through the past when you have gotten positive responses from your W. What were you doing (or not doing) that might have helped your W to become more responsive to you?
The great news is you are making changes that are helping the R! Keep them up!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
