When you wake up in the morning and have doubts, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about the loving things you or he has done or are you focused on the negative? What we focus on expands. As you have probably learned from this bb, people that are negative ONLY see the negative. Similiarly, people that are focused on the positive only see the positive. Reality is in the middle. You will ALWAYS have negatives and positives in any relationship.
What you have to do is take a real long and hard look at your relationship, both the negatives and the positives. You need to decide whether or not you want to be in that relationship. Also, as you know, a successful marriage is not one where you have things in common. It is one whether the two of you accept each other for how they are, regardless of how dissimiliar your interests are, and working together to make the marriage successful.
Maybe you should write down all the positive and negative things you see in your relationship. Additionally you might want to right down why you want it to succeed and what you want from a relationship. Then try to make a decision on whether or not you can make it work.
I don't believe you can save something you aren't sure you want to save. It takes too much effort and committment. If your heart isn't in it, it is likely to fail.
Once you have made the list of negatives and positives, you can then decide upon the things you would like to change in the relationship. You must realize that you may be the one that has to change since you can't force your H to change. However, you can ask him to. But if he can't then you have to decide if you can accept that or not.
It may not seem like it right now, but you aren't in a bad place. If you can objectively look at your marriage and see both the negative and the positive, you will be able to make a decision on how to proceed. This is a good thing.
Also on a more positive note, appreciate the positives in your marriage. This is where your thougths should be focused concerning your relationship. While you may want to change the negatives, don't think about them all the time. You can work on them without them dominating your thoughts.
I hope this helps.
JJ
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