Dear alienswife, First of all, welcome. You have made it to the right place. The wise folks here will be able to help you stick to your goal of detaching.
Detaching is probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your entire life, but you can do it. You've already gotten great advice.
First of all, you really need to decide in your heart of hearts that detaching is important. It's not kind of important, it's really essential. You have to internalize that. Your marriage depends on it.
Secondly, you have to keep yourself busy, just like your friends here have said. Focus on you and making yourself a better person. Figure out what you need to change so that your life feels more enjoyable, even without him at the moment.
Each time you feel the urge to be clingy, ask yourself, "If I do this, what is going to happen next?" Really envision the outcome. Then don't do it. Do something else instead. Keep track of what you are doing to resist the temptation to be needy or cling. Once you start this list, you will be surprised at how much self control you really have. You will feel proud of yourself and detaching will then become easier.
Let us know how things are going. Michele
-------------------- The Divorce Buster
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
