Trust is something that had to be built in the first place, when you were dating or whatever. So, it has to be built again. If your SO comes back and is ready to work on the R, then the trust issue needs to be explained. If you are honest with each other, it's a straight forward issue. Talk about it and set some rules. Be up front that discussion will occur, and that questions will be asked. Michele has some guidelines in DR, and there are other good R books about repairing things after A's.
I'm going through this, and it's not always easy. There are good days and bad days, but there are way more good days now than bad days. You'll never forget about what happened, but you can build something stronger. Michele's little article about Forgiveness has sustained me many times.
Unfaithful partners took time to get that way and they take time to come back full circle. It's a time intensive/trust building process. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen if both of you are willing to work it out. There are lots of stories of couples that have rebuilt the trust and wound up with something far stronger than before.
Can the trust come back? Yes. Is it easy? Not necessarily so, but is it worth it? If you wind up with something better than you had before, it's well worth it.
Hang in there,
Cliff
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
