Quote: I had lots of marriage goals, but narrowed it down to a few that are achievable within two weeks and then plan the next goals. My number one goal is that we recreate a marriage that is strong, passionate, and lasting. I should really write them up and carry them around with me.
* Hubby seeks counselling * I will be friendly and self-reliant * NO PRESSURE * Be clear about my goals for reconciliation
I am going to ask you rethink the changes you want to be seeing in the M that will give you some hope. Your goal of your R going to counseling is a great goal, but I am wondering if that is realistic for the short term? The other three you listed:
* I will be friendly and self-reliant * NO PRESSURE * Be clear about my goals for reconciliation
These are more about YOUR behavior changes and that’s great. But first, it is important that you know what you are watching for that says things are improving.
Once you get 2-3 specific, positive, and very realistic short-term goals (some things that could take place in the next few weeks), then take a look at what you can do (or not do!) to encourage your goals to happen.
IT WILL BE YOUR GOALS that will help you decide how to behave or what to say or not say. With each situation you have with your H, ask what types of behaviors or words will help you succeed.
By the way, if you’ve “trashed” your goals, I hope don’t get too down on yourself. No one does this perfectly, OK? Just get back up and keep doing what has been working. Remember that you knew even before you received DR, how to do relationship –saving behaviors! Keep it up, keep going, and you have my major support !!
Laurie
JJ
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