Here I am again preaching the message of patience and working on yourself again.
Something that I noted in a recent post kind of bothered me about your sitch:
Quote: I know I can win as long as I can convince him that we have a chance if we both participate. I know that's not Michele's stand but it would help if he participated a little. That's my biggest challenge.
This is STILL not about winning. If you win and you are alone with your kids, what have you won??? Yes, it is a challenge for you. This is not a game to be won or lost. It is a relationship to be renewed, reclaimed, and rejuvenated. DR is not a set of tactics, tricks, and strategies to lure and win your spouse back into the same old marriage. You have to ask yourself - do I want everything to be the same as it was? - or can H and I build something better? Think of DR as a diet - a new diet for your M. For any diet to work, it takes lifestyle changes on a large scale - and they have to stick. Dedication, hard work, goals that take you step by step to the new you - these principles apply just as much to DR as they do to a new diet. There is the immediate and the long term to think about.
There is no magic bullet. There are no magic fixes.
You appear to be a bright and caring person. You want this to work. I can understand that, we all do. What may be missing from what you are doing now is focus. Is your focus on you and your kids, or on H and "winning" him back? What have you done lately to make changes that fit you and make you feel better about yourself? Your happiness in life cannot come from others or your relationships. Happiness must come from within and radiate outward onto the people and things that YOU love. Obviously your relationships are a part of your happiness, but they cannot become the only source. There must be a base level to start your love engine.
I hope this doesn't seem too harsh, but I see you trying hard, but spinning your wheels. You want a magic rapture to occur and make everything all better. Make the magic happen inside of you first, then spread it to others - one person at a time.
Patience.
Greg - Patient, vigilant, hopeful
JJ
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