Hi Julie, You just need to give it some time. The changes you have made are working to bring you closer together ... continue to do more of it.
Its hard not to get sucked into their rollercoaster ride, but in order to keep up a good PMA, remind yourself, "No thanks, I don't want to ride today."
Keep in mind what Michelle's says about about this stage of their crisis, "Believe in none of what they say and only in half of what they do." The half to believe in is the positive things they do, because these manage to surface from their core-self despite of their focus on running away from the negatives things in their life. Repeat this to yourself each time he says something negative. Reaffirm your PMA by reminding yourself that YOU believe that you will get through this and for the better. Act "as-if" your PMA can overtake whatever negativity he throws your way. This basically is what detachment is about. A simple way of stating it is that it is a battle of wills ... not allowing his attitudes to affect yours.
If you find you cannot shrug it off, then its time to physically detach. Seek some physical space in order to prevent his drama to affect your PMA. By keeping a consistant PMA in his presence, you are demostrating that you can no longer be the source fueling all his negativity.
'til later, KAW
JJ
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