Yes, staying dark does seem to get their interest. You see, right now, you're basically reacting to everything he does. Change channels, change the show, alter the landscape and then he'll be reacting.
It's actually a good feeling when you're being proactive--it really does throw them off their game plan.
It really hurts, but WAS's really do tell their lovers everything--and I mean everything. Forget about them keeping your secrets or private life confidential--it's not going to happen. It's a very unpleasant form of violation of trust, but hey, he's already violated the most important form of trust in any R.
All the awful things go hand in hand: lying, cheating, sneaking around; blabbing about private, confidential, and even intimate details--all part of the slime package that goes with their territory.
Do something different--if you haven't gone totally dark yet, your question as to whether you should try might be the best path right now. After all, the other things you're trying aren't working.
All the best, and I honestly know exactly how awful you feel right now, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even my STBX!!
