Thanks, Amy - I did open a seperate bank account of my own
last year, and have added some money to it whenever I've
been able to, just to have some money of my own. Other than
that, WH and I still have a joint checking, from which our joint bills/expenses are paid, as well as a joint savings.
I've always handled our finances and taxes and continue to
balance the accounts and pay the bills, while WH continues
to contribute the larger part of the money for our joint
bills and expenses.

I lost my job in July, but have continued to contribute some
towards our joint stuff, using my unemployment money as well
as some of my part of our tax refund. I'm looking hard for
another job-

Thanks, Todd, for your reply. I will catch up with your
thread as well. I understand and agree completely that it
is very hard not to try to figure out the "why", "what",
"where", and "when" of the situation ! I guess in my case,
I want to find some "understanding" that makes some sort of
sense to me, even though there really is NO "sense" of any
of it. You're right- it makes it hard to focus on our own
selves, changes we want to make in our lives, and anything
but the pain and suffering we are going through, which is
not a good, or healthy thing.

If WH feels I am just here "waiting", willing to take him
back no matter what, or that it's okay to mistreat me, I
really do want to change this attitude and image, just don't know what to do differently- let me know what ideas
and thoughts you have and what has helped you show that you
are a person with dignity and respect - and things we can
do to challenge our spouses ???

Having lots of time on my hands right now (lost my job in
July) has probably not helped in my sitch, as it leaves me
with too much time to think, worry, and feel sorry for my-
self and situation with WH, but I do try to do some job
hunting, get a few things done around the house or yard, get out of the house on some errands or something, walk the
dog, and keep in touch with friends and family each day.
I belong to a community music group, and we begin rehearsals
for the fall season tonight, so I'm looking forward to being
with old friends and having that activity.

Good luck as well, and keep in touch.
Slammed