Well, in April 2006, it will be 2 years since I first posted to these boards. I was at a loss of what to do or where my marriage was headed. It was the scariest time of my life. Coming here was the best thing that I could have done. I had so much support and a place to come to search for answers. If you were to ask me if I would have thought we would be where we are now, I dont think I could have answered that. I knew that I WANTED us to be here, but was very unsure of if we would make it.
Now, almost 2 years and a WHOLE LOTTA LEARNING later, I finally feel safe and secure enough in my M to say that we are definately a DB success story!
In just the past month, I feel that our M has moved to even a better place than when we were first married over 3 years ago. H is starting to open up to me so much more and is wanting me to be a part of his life! It's the best feeling in the world! Our communication is so much better. I no longer am afraid to bring up issues or talk to H about certain things. I have recently listened to CD #5 of KLA and it really has helped me with concentrating on the now and had lots of good reminders.
We do still have some issues, or rather I have just one issue, the kissing, that we need to deal with. But I do feel in time, it will come, just as everthing else has. I have not pushed for anything from H in a long time and I think that has helped. I am getting really good hugs from him (me intitating) and he is spending lots of quality time with me, which I feel are all good steps.
I feel that we have both grown in this whole process, and still continue to grow in our M. I know that it was the changes in ME that made my H decide to change. He did it all on his own. I know that I will continue to read all the books I have now put into my "R library" to help keep me on track and so that I dont go back to the selfish, nagging person that I was.
I do still have some periods of "anxiety", over stupid, little things that happen. I guess its just become a habit from the past year, but I do feel in time it willget less and less and eventually just disappear. Then thing I do instead of freaking out first is to take a step back and just see what is really going on. Sure does help not to jump to conclusions!
Anyways, I just wanted to post how I was feeling now and that I am finally feeling safe and very secure in my M!! Its such a wonderful feeling to wake up every morning and to be sure that H is right here with me and he is here to stay!
JJ
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