How to Piece????

[cat03]

Maybe this is an error on his part, or maybe he's trying to minimize the length of time... I don't know.
But what do you do if you realize they are still lying?

Same boat here about when H and OP stopped being intimate. I have good proof of when it STILL was going on event though he says it was over for him.
My H truly had his brain short-circuit with the depression and the 3meds he was taking, so maybe he isnt' 100% sure. OK, so let's say he remembers and tells me "ok, it was xyz month" what would that change? it would only fuel my fire of making a detailed timeline of "when he was with her he was doing xyz with me" and have me obsessed more, and ask him even more questions..thus the circle would never be broken.

Let's make piece with that hon, the whole thing A was wrong, 4 or 6mths old, was WRONG, I truly hear you, somedays I too want to have exact dates, but remember, knowing more makes us feel like crap later.

Like when I found the black book yesterday, it answer my other questions, but do you think I feel better now? I don't.

As far as trying to make amends... I'm not sure about that. Would just being around count for making amends? My husband does say he "loves me cautiously." I wonder if this means he does feel a lot of shame and just can't take any criticism regarding this whole thing.

Sounds about right, they DID feel shame..on the "affair" book it said how the cheater is so guilt ridden...he goes back for more of the OP to block that shame".

Being around is a great step to the BEGINNING of healing the M. Remember hopefloats? her H didn't have the heart/valor to come back, it took a lot from your H and mine to face up how much they screwed up and come back to us, both of our H's had lawyers and all, we both almost got divorced!!!
Remember that, we've fought so hard and here we are,back with our H's, something we prayed for hard everyday they were away.

It is the beginning of hard work for both of you, you know that! I also know that despair creeps up and tugs at your heart, I'm having some of that too. But let's remember to look forward hun, God is on our side, all things work for those who love Him, dont' loose faith K?