Quote: At that point I started saying heck with it and now I TELL her that I need some time (cave) but that it is (or WE are) are okay - I just need to sort things out. I did this two weekends ago and the response was GREAT. She was relieved that I was HONEST about where I was and I know it relieved some of her anxiety. At least this is what I am seeing.
Great post, Sven! Yes, that's the way I've seen it in my situation, too.
It can almost seem like too simple of a solution to what seems like a complicated situation, doesn't it? However, it also seems like something that works quite often.
ESPECIALLY in the first parts of piecing, it's these little reassurances that "I'm ok with us", on the parts of both parties, that help in re-building a better R than there was before. Also, it's something that's important to keep doing, even as you move farther along down the road.
It's often difficult to make the shift from struggling to save your marriage, to these first parts of rebuilding your marriage. There are a lot of things that you may have thought you "shouldn't" do before, like thinking about YOUR needs, that you may "need" to do now. Really, in essence, they may actually be part of the new found needs of your relationship. (I'm not sure if all THAT made sense, but there's a lot of good info regarding things like this in the "Tips for Newcomers to Piecing" thread here.)
This made a lot of sense to me, Sven! Keep up the great work!
JJ
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